so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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