Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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