That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
