We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
