She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
