I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
soo... how was my night?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
