You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
