I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Just pee around me
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
