Got a toothbrush?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
No subtext here. People are naked.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
