I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Semen is not good for contacts.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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