i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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