obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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