It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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