help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I smell like Dick and happiness
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize