I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
