The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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