For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
