i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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