Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
