saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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