sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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