After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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