Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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