can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
