Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
