Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
