When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
