I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
