Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
