Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
