Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Operation Purity has been aborted
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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