I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
