bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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