This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
