I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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