I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Randomize
