The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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