Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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