Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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