I wannas sexs uuuuu
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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