so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
