mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
