let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Randomize