i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
