I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
You're like the curious george of whores
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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