I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
