Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
