508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
