Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
