So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
