At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
