Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
