All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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