lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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