I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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