I just made out with a guy for $7.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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