my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
