I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
