rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
